“Neva Luminosa!!” that was the sound of a headmaster of university, calling her name as the best graduated student. In a proud, she stood up from her chair and reached the podium.
While tearing some tears, she climbed every step to reach her best achievement of her life. In every step she started to remember her journey of this life.
First step, still too far from podium. Yes, it was. In her step of her life, she sit up on the chair near by the teacher. Her mother always told her to sit near by the teacher as close as her heart to the God. And because of that, she became the cleverest student in the elementary school.
Second step, her awakening. She realized she had to make every person around her happy, especially her parents. But it wasn’t always about her achievement in school. She later realized, her family is not wealthy enough to fund her to study as long as she wanted. While saying, I’m sorry mom, dad,” she seeked up the money from everywhere. She begged to the church, national institutions, NGO, and her school. Everywhere., but mostly brought failure and the funding that she needed still far away from what she got. And she was grateful still, for that less money. Her mother taught her so.
Then God appreciated her gratitude. One old man showed up to her life, like an angel coming from heaven in disguising. He carelessly walked to cross the street. She saved him from a massive and speedy pick up.
“Thank you, young lady. Tell me, what’s your name.”
“I’m Neva.”
“How old are you, Neva?”
“I’m fourteen, and I’m first year high school student,” she said an additional information while hoping that he wouldn’t ask more. She was in hurry.
“I would price my life. Tell me what you want and I will grant it.”
Just like a star fell from heaven, she really needed something. But it seemed very easy for her. She needed money for her study. Would she ask for it? It wasn’t her typical. So she said, “I need a job. Half time job actually. I’m still studying and, ...”
“You need money for your study? I can see that. Why don’t you ask for some money? Don’t answer that, your mother taught that, didn’t she?”
She was just smiling and saying yes in her heart, proud of her mother and everything she taught.
“I own a fast food restaurant,” he said while giving the address of his restaurant. “I want you to come there in Saturday morning. See Mr. Shears and say your name.”
“Yes sir.” She was very happy with that.
“Now, can you help me crossing the street?”
“I would take you to everywhere you want.”
“No, just across the street.”
That was the moment when she got the funding for her study, from her own sweat. No longer from charity and neighborhood kindness. And she felt very proud of that. Even that she was working, it wouldn’t be a reason for her to get bad marks. Her marks had never been forgotten. She was still number one.
Third step, she could see her parents, her friend and working partner Andien, and her beloved one Ryan. Those were persons who made her felt complete and very happy.
At first day of her job she worked careless enough to make her lost her first week salary. But then Andien came and helped her. She gave knowledge to her who never worked as hard as like this. She brought spirit to her who had to work while studying.
But, her and her family happiness, who just had been living like normal family, just lasted for a month. Her father suddenly deprived from his job with less financial support and pension. A dream of living happily had gone in a blink of eyes, because they have to rearrange their life with much less money while her father was seeking for another job.
Then Ryan came. He was a new manager of the fast food restaurant where she worked in. he was also an engineering student at famous university who interested also in management. Less of his employees knew that he was a grandson of he old man that Neva had saved.
And it had been a long time his interesting to a very talented girl like Neva fulfilled his mind and lust. He never knew it yet, until she got the twelfth appreciation as the best employees of the month. She was really a very rare girl, that was his thought. A very diligent employee and a very clever student. What kind of combination that would be better than it?
In appearance, she was good looking enough. Her smile made every customer wanted to come again and again. She was just not good in front of mirror like every girl in her school, with a dozen of make up. She just had one lip gloss.
It was a true brave and struggle just to win her heart, and he did. He got her heart. It wasn’t easy, he had to know first what she wanted. Ya, it was a very complicated things about what she wanted. Less people wanted to know this unusual thing from this unusual girl.
She wanted to be normal, just that. And the existence of Ryan made her felt like that. She was 16, and every 16 years old girl wanted a boyfriend. Seemed easy, but he had to make her sure he loved her. She was a very low profile girl who never felt sure that she had been loved.
A few short time after that, Ryan knew that she loved poorly. Secretly, he sent a few of money every month to her family. He never told her about this, he was afraid he would pay it back later.
Fourth step. It was her high school graduation day. Graduated as the best student had made her family proud, and t seemed she always did. And moreover, she paid all of her studying fee by herself, putting all of her friends in jealousy.
She chose Physics for her subject at university. By an aid of a foundation, she could study in peace without worrying about her studying fee. But she still worked at that fast food restaurant to help her family.
While working, she could keep her study being the best among all the students. She had a great passion. She wanted to make her family in happiness. Just like it wasn’t ever enough what she did to her family.
One day, Ryan spoke to her in a kitchen of restaurant. It was about her future.
“I want to ask you something,” Ryan said, while trying to get hug from Neva.
“What?” Neva who was making a black coffee felt disturbed of what he did.
“Stop working.”
Neva shocked a little bit. “Are you asking me to quit from your grandfather’s restaurant?”
“Ya.”
“Are you crazy? What’s in your mind?” While starring at his eyes, Neva was making a conclusion. “Stop offering a help,” she said.
“Ya, stop working. Let me pay all of your bills. I will, …”
“Listen to me. I don’t like to be helped so far.”
“That makes me love you more.”
“Ryan, this is my working place. I just want to be professional. If you want a hug, you can wait till my shift ends.”
“Then you have to go home and learning. You almost have no time for me. But if, …”
“Don’t cut my time table.”
“OK.”
That was true; Neva almost had no time for Ryan. And that made him loved her more.
Last step of that short stairs. It felt high for her. But at that last step, her bachelor degree with cum laude title was in the tip of her finger. She had made her family so proud and happy, but she said it wasn’t enough. While keeping her great intending, she kept something bad.
She reached the podium and started to speak.
“To be graduated as the best students, I had no feeling about it before. It’s too good to be true. I’m really blessed by God, thank you. Under his protection and his love, I’m finally standing here as a person who makes my parents so proud, I, …”
Suddenly, Neva felt dizzy which in a second turned into a great headache. She lost her balance, and fell into the carpet. Paramedics came from behind stage, checking her vital signs then carrying her to ambulance so fast.
Audience felt worried, especially her parents, Ryan, and Andien. They flew to behind stage but they could just watch an ambulance carrying Neva in a rush to the nearby hospital. It looked like very urgent.
“What’s wrong with my daughter?” her mother asked about her conditions to one of paramedics.
“I’m sorry, we must bring your daughter to Emergency Unit as soon as possible. We detected signs of aneurism. There’s an internal bleeding in her brain. She’s critical.”
The statement of the paramedic made her mother in a great shock. Her mother calmed her down. Which mother wouldn’t feel that?
“We can chase the ambulance with my car,” Ryan said. “Where are they going?”
“White Grace Hospital,” paramedic said.
Then, they chase the ambulance with a great hope that she would be better soon.
Emergency Unit. Neva’s mother flew soon after getting out from car. She carried the most worries than any other people around her.
Chamber number 16. They could see her in outside through the very thick and clear glass. They could see her very clearly that she had electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, and any other device of censor to detect vital signs of her life. She also had an oxygen tube to let her had a better breath, and infuse.
“Excuse me, sir. Are you her parents?” a paramedic asked to Neva’s father.
“Yes, I am.”
“I need your signs very immediately to legislate to her surgery. Very immediately.”
“Right.”
Her father ran with paramedic to the office.
Then, a neurologist came approaching her mother. He was explaining her condition, and it wasn’t really different than what the previous paramedic said.
“She has been checked with MRI to locate her aneurism. For a moment, she’s very critical and has less chance to survive. But we will do our best.” Everything what he said just to convince them, especially the worrying mother, that she could be saved. But he didn’t want to lie.
“May I see her?”
“She needs you.”
Her mother and neurologist entered the chamber, while Ryan and Andien waiting at the outside.
“She’s half conscious, but perhaps she can hear you,” the neurologist said.
“Neva, can you hear me? It’s me, your mother.” She didn’t realize she poured some tears. “We are so proud of your achievement in your life. You are the best girl I’ve ever known.”
“Thank you, mom,” Neva suddenly spoke and opened her eyes slowly. It was hard for her.
“Neva, don’t speak. You may need a rest.”
Neva closed her eyes again, but still moving. She felt bad still. Who would feel better after having great headache?
“How long you hid this?” the neurologist asked her.
“Eight months. It would be a high cost treatment.”
“God must love you so much so you were given eight months.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” her mom said.
“I don’t want to make you worry about me. Mom, listen to me. If something happens to me, I want you to open purple box inside of my cabinet. I, …” Neva started to feel a great headache again.
“We have to carry her to an Operating Room. We will initiate the surgery as soon as possible,” neurologist said after watching EEG monitor. Something changed.
A group of nurses and one intern unattached some devices from her body except the EEG and ECG. Then, they moved her bed to the operating room. Ryan, Andien, and her family felt worry about this. She would be in surgery.
They had been waiting for three hours in front of OR. They felt really worry about her conditions. They didn’t want to loose the best girl in the world. The girl who made them happy and proud.
The light upon the door of OR had turned off. The surgery had been finished. And her family felt a bad feeling.
The neurologist and his intern came out with the surgery team, but they went out to tell the result of the surgery. But their expressions resulted the tears from the eyes of Neva’s mother.
“We’ve failed. We couldn’t save her,” the intern said.
Hearing this, world should cry and not only her parents, Andien, and Ryan. World had lost the best girl in the world. Her parents had lost her, the only daughter they had ever had. Andien had lost her best friends, who always had been in a joy with bright smiles to the customers of the restaurant. And Ryan, had lost his love. He wouldn’t get the same feeling like this.
After the funeral, Neva’s mother called Ryan and Andien to her room. They was searching for her traces. They still couldn’t believe that she had passed away. In her quietly tidy room, they could see some sweet things which really represented her.
Neva’s mother was searching for a purple box like she had said. The purple box coated by plastics and some cute ribbons. But in inside, there was only some papers. Three sheets of paper, written by her own hands. One sheet for Andien, one for Ryan, and the last one was for her parents. She had prepared it for a long time, after knowing that she had chance of aneurism.
“I can’t believe this,” Ryan said. He even hadn’t read the paper. “Didn’t she use the money that I’ve been giving to her every month?”
“She didn’t. She kept it. We didn’t know that it’s from you. She promised would give it back after knowing the sender of it,” Neva’s mother said.
Then, she showed him a small white envelope. There he could find his money that he gave to Neva’s family every month. It was not so big, it was just a half of Neva’s monthly salary.
“I can’t believe this.”
“She didn’t like to be helped like this.”
Ryan had a silent a little bit, trying to understand what she had done. Then he said, “Please, keep the money for you and your husband. You will need it.”
Then, he ran away from her house to his car. He ignited it and went away. He couldn’t hide his tears. He felt regret of everything.
“Neva, you are stupid!!” he said. He thought that her self esteem had killed herself.
But he couldn’t hold himself to read the paper from Neva, which was still in grab of his hand. He stopped his car in the corner of the street.
This is what was written at that letter:
“My dear, Ryan. I don’t know when and where do you read this, but I hope you’re always fine in complete without any single thing les of you.”
He hadn’t finished reading that, but the tears that he swept seemed unstoppable. He was absolutely less one thing, and seemed like he lost everything.
He read it again: “This way of love has been carried by me as far as I can go now. Thanks for giving me a gift to be yours. You can face it alone, I know it. You’re brave, you’re unstoppable. Just remember our sweet things that we have made together, but don’t be afraid to make new things out there. I love you.”
Ryan couldn’t hold his cry. He cried like a girl. His feeling is unexplainable, and he never felt it before. He loved her so much, but she had gone.
Three minute crying, he started to ride again. Slowly, he didn’t want to hit everyone. His mind now was as same as drunken man, but he could think rationally still.
He got into his house, finding blue balloon of his little brother. He took it to his room. For a moment he started to remember Neva, her favorite color was blue.
In his room, he sit on his chair and started to write something. Another letter. He wrote it for Neva. He knew it wouldn’t be read by anybody. His mind wasn’t in irrational, he was just hoping.
“Hi, Neva. Wherever you are now, I want you to know that I love you so much. It feels like I said it everyday, thousand times each day. But it wasn’t ever enough. I don’t care even that your behave seems annoying for me, those things actually make me feel love you more. You’re special. There will not be another one like you, even someone better than you. It’s a pity you left me so soon. But I should say thank you for all of sweet things that you have given to me. I love you.”
Then, he tied the letter with balloon and let it flew to the sky, while hoping that she would read it.
While tearing some tears, she climbed every step to reach her best achievement of her life. In every step she started to remember her journey of this life.
First step, still too far from podium. Yes, it was. In her step of her life, she sit up on the chair near by the teacher. Her mother always told her to sit near by the teacher as close as her heart to the God. And because of that, she became the cleverest student in the elementary school.
Second step, her awakening. She realized she had to make every person around her happy, especially her parents. But it wasn’t always about her achievement in school. She later realized, her family is not wealthy enough to fund her to study as long as she wanted. While saying, I’m sorry mom, dad,” she seeked up the money from everywhere. She begged to the church, national institutions, NGO, and her school. Everywhere., but mostly brought failure and the funding that she needed still far away from what she got. And she was grateful still, for that less money. Her mother taught her so.
Then God appreciated her gratitude. One old man showed up to her life, like an angel coming from heaven in disguising. He carelessly walked to cross the street. She saved him from a massive and speedy pick up.
“Thank you, young lady. Tell me, what’s your name.”
“I’m Neva.”
“How old are you, Neva?”
“I’m fourteen, and I’m first year high school student,” she said an additional information while hoping that he wouldn’t ask more. She was in hurry.
“I would price my life. Tell me what you want and I will grant it.”
Just like a star fell from heaven, she really needed something. But it seemed very easy for her. She needed money for her study. Would she ask for it? It wasn’t her typical. So she said, “I need a job. Half time job actually. I’m still studying and, ...”
“You need money for your study? I can see that. Why don’t you ask for some money? Don’t answer that, your mother taught that, didn’t she?”
She was just smiling and saying yes in her heart, proud of her mother and everything she taught.
“I own a fast food restaurant,” he said while giving the address of his restaurant. “I want you to come there in Saturday morning. See Mr. Shears and say your name.”
“Yes sir.” She was very happy with that.
“Now, can you help me crossing the street?”
“I would take you to everywhere you want.”
“No, just across the street.”
That was the moment when she got the funding for her study, from her own sweat. No longer from charity and neighborhood kindness. And she felt very proud of that. Even that she was working, it wouldn’t be a reason for her to get bad marks. Her marks had never been forgotten. She was still number one.
Third step, she could see her parents, her friend and working partner Andien, and her beloved one Ryan. Those were persons who made her felt complete and very happy.
At first day of her job she worked careless enough to make her lost her first week salary. But then Andien came and helped her. She gave knowledge to her who never worked as hard as like this. She brought spirit to her who had to work while studying.
But, her and her family happiness, who just had been living like normal family, just lasted for a month. Her father suddenly deprived from his job with less financial support and pension. A dream of living happily had gone in a blink of eyes, because they have to rearrange their life with much less money while her father was seeking for another job.
Then Ryan came. He was a new manager of the fast food restaurant where she worked in. he was also an engineering student at famous university who interested also in management. Less of his employees knew that he was a grandson of he old man that Neva had saved.
And it had been a long time his interesting to a very talented girl like Neva fulfilled his mind and lust. He never knew it yet, until she got the twelfth appreciation as the best employees of the month. She was really a very rare girl, that was his thought. A very diligent employee and a very clever student. What kind of combination that would be better than it?
In appearance, she was good looking enough. Her smile made every customer wanted to come again and again. She was just not good in front of mirror like every girl in her school, with a dozen of make up. She just had one lip gloss.
It was a true brave and struggle just to win her heart, and he did. He got her heart. It wasn’t easy, he had to know first what she wanted. Ya, it was a very complicated things about what she wanted. Less people wanted to know this unusual thing from this unusual girl.
She wanted to be normal, just that. And the existence of Ryan made her felt like that. She was 16, and every 16 years old girl wanted a boyfriend. Seemed easy, but he had to make her sure he loved her. She was a very low profile girl who never felt sure that she had been loved.
A few short time after that, Ryan knew that she loved poorly. Secretly, he sent a few of money every month to her family. He never told her about this, he was afraid he would pay it back later.
Fourth step. It was her high school graduation day. Graduated as the best student had made her family proud, and t seemed she always did. And moreover, she paid all of her studying fee by herself, putting all of her friends in jealousy.
She chose Physics for her subject at university. By an aid of a foundation, she could study in peace without worrying about her studying fee. But she still worked at that fast food restaurant to help her family.
While working, she could keep her study being the best among all the students. She had a great passion. She wanted to make her family in happiness. Just like it wasn’t ever enough what she did to her family.
One day, Ryan spoke to her in a kitchen of restaurant. It was about her future.
“I want to ask you something,” Ryan said, while trying to get hug from Neva.
“What?” Neva who was making a black coffee felt disturbed of what he did.
“Stop working.”
Neva shocked a little bit. “Are you asking me to quit from your grandfather’s restaurant?”
“Ya.”
“Are you crazy? What’s in your mind?” While starring at his eyes, Neva was making a conclusion. “Stop offering a help,” she said.
“Ya, stop working. Let me pay all of your bills. I will, …”
“Listen to me. I don’t like to be helped so far.”
“That makes me love you more.”
“Ryan, this is my working place. I just want to be professional. If you want a hug, you can wait till my shift ends.”
“Then you have to go home and learning. You almost have no time for me. But if, …”
“Don’t cut my time table.”
“OK.”
That was true; Neva almost had no time for Ryan. And that made him loved her more.
Last step of that short stairs. It felt high for her. But at that last step, her bachelor degree with cum laude title was in the tip of her finger. She had made her family so proud and happy, but she said it wasn’t enough. While keeping her great intending, she kept something bad.
She reached the podium and started to speak.
“To be graduated as the best students, I had no feeling about it before. It’s too good to be true. I’m really blessed by God, thank you. Under his protection and his love, I’m finally standing here as a person who makes my parents so proud, I, …”
Suddenly, Neva felt dizzy which in a second turned into a great headache. She lost her balance, and fell into the carpet. Paramedics came from behind stage, checking her vital signs then carrying her to ambulance so fast.
Audience felt worried, especially her parents, Ryan, and Andien. They flew to behind stage but they could just watch an ambulance carrying Neva in a rush to the nearby hospital. It looked like very urgent.
“What’s wrong with my daughter?” her mother asked about her conditions to one of paramedics.
“I’m sorry, we must bring your daughter to Emergency Unit as soon as possible. We detected signs of aneurism. There’s an internal bleeding in her brain. She’s critical.”
The statement of the paramedic made her mother in a great shock. Her mother calmed her down. Which mother wouldn’t feel that?
“We can chase the ambulance with my car,” Ryan said. “Where are they going?”
“White Grace Hospital,” paramedic said.
Then, they chase the ambulance with a great hope that she would be better soon.
Emergency Unit. Neva’s mother flew soon after getting out from car. She carried the most worries than any other people around her.
Chamber number 16. They could see her in outside through the very thick and clear glass. They could see her very clearly that she had electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, and any other device of censor to detect vital signs of her life. She also had an oxygen tube to let her had a better breath, and infuse.
“Excuse me, sir. Are you her parents?” a paramedic asked to Neva’s father.
“Yes, I am.”
“I need your signs very immediately to legislate to her surgery. Very immediately.”
“Right.”
Her father ran with paramedic to the office.
Then, a neurologist came approaching her mother. He was explaining her condition, and it wasn’t really different than what the previous paramedic said.
“She has been checked with MRI to locate her aneurism. For a moment, she’s very critical and has less chance to survive. But we will do our best.” Everything what he said just to convince them, especially the worrying mother, that she could be saved. But he didn’t want to lie.
“May I see her?”
“She needs you.”
Her mother and neurologist entered the chamber, while Ryan and Andien waiting at the outside.
“She’s half conscious, but perhaps she can hear you,” the neurologist said.
“Neva, can you hear me? It’s me, your mother.” She didn’t realize she poured some tears. “We are so proud of your achievement in your life. You are the best girl I’ve ever known.”
“Thank you, mom,” Neva suddenly spoke and opened her eyes slowly. It was hard for her.
“Neva, don’t speak. You may need a rest.”
Neva closed her eyes again, but still moving. She felt bad still. Who would feel better after having great headache?
“How long you hid this?” the neurologist asked her.
“Eight months. It would be a high cost treatment.”
“God must love you so much so you were given eight months.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” her mom said.
“I don’t want to make you worry about me. Mom, listen to me. If something happens to me, I want you to open purple box inside of my cabinet. I, …” Neva started to feel a great headache again.
“We have to carry her to an Operating Room. We will initiate the surgery as soon as possible,” neurologist said after watching EEG monitor. Something changed.
A group of nurses and one intern unattached some devices from her body except the EEG and ECG. Then, they moved her bed to the operating room. Ryan, Andien, and her family felt worry about this. She would be in surgery.
They had been waiting for three hours in front of OR. They felt really worry about her conditions. They didn’t want to loose the best girl in the world. The girl who made them happy and proud.
The light upon the door of OR had turned off. The surgery had been finished. And her family felt a bad feeling.
The neurologist and his intern came out with the surgery team, but they went out to tell the result of the surgery. But their expressions resulted the tears from the eyes of Neva’s mother.
“We’ve failed. We couldn’t save her,” the intern said.
Hearing this, world should cry and not only her parents, Andien, and Ryan. World had lost the best girl in the world. Her parents had lost her, the only daughter they had ever had. Andien had lost her best friends, who always had been in a joy with bright smiles to the customers of the restaurant. And Ryan, had lost his love. He wouldn’t get the same feeling like this.
After the funeral, Neva’s mother called Ryan and Andien to her room. They was searching for her traces. They still couldn’t believe that she had passed away. In her quietly tidy room, they could see some sweet things which really represented her.
Neva’s mother was searching for a purple box like she had said. The purple box coated by plastics and some cute ribbons. But in inside, there was only some papers. Three sheets of paper, written by her own hands. One sheet for Andien, one for Ryan, and the last one was for her parents. She had prepared it for a long time, after knowing that she had chance of aneurism.
“I can’t believe this,” Ryan said. He even hadn’t read the paper. “Didn’t she use the money that I’ve been giving to her every month?”
“She didn’t. She kept it. We didn’t know that it’s from you. She promised would give it back after knowing the sender of it,” Neva’s mother said.
Then, she showed him a small white envelope. There he could find his money that he gave to Neva’s family every month. It was not so big, it was just a half of Neva’s monthly salary.
“I can’t believe this.”
“She didn’t like to be helped like this.”
Ryan had a silent a little bit, trying to understand what she had done. Then he said, “Please, keep the money for you and your husband. You will need it.”
Then, he ran away from her house to his car. He ignited it and went away. He couldn’t hide his tears. He felt regret of everything.
“Neva, you are stupid!!” he said. He thought that her self esteem had killed herself.
But he couldn’t hold himself to read the paper from Neva, which was still in grab of his hand. He stopped his car in the corner of the street.
This is what was written at that letter:
“My dear, Ryan. I don’t know when and where do you read this, but I hope you’re always fine in complete without any single thing les of you.”
He hadn’t finished reading that, but the tears that he swept seemed unstoppable. He was absolutely less one thing, and seemed like he lost everything.
He read it again: “This way of love has been carried by me as far as I can go now. Thanks for giving me a gift to be yours. You can face it alone, I know it. You’re brave, you’re unstoppable. Just remember our sweet things that we have made together, but don’t be afraid to make new things out there. I love you.”
Ryan couldn’t hold his cry. He cried like a girl. His feeling is unexplainable, and he never felt it before. He loved her so much, but she had gone.
Three minute crying, he started to ride again. Slowly, he didn’t want to hit everyone. His mind now was as same as drunken man, but he could think rationally still.
He got into his house, finding blue balloon of his little brother. He took it to his room. For a moment he started to remember Neva, her favorite color was blue.
In his room, he sit on his chair and started to write something. Another letter. He wrote it for Neva. He knew it wouldn’t be read by anybody. His mind wasn’t in irrational, he was just hoping.
“Hi, Neva. Wherever you are now, I want you to know that I love you so much. It feels like I said it everyday, thousand times each day. But it wasn’t ever enough. I don’t care even that your behave seems annoying for me, those things actually make me feel love you more. You’re special. There will not be another one like you, even someone better than you. It’s a pity you left me so soon. But I should say thank you for all of sweet things that you have given to me. I love you.”
Then, he tied the letter with balloon and let it flew to the sky, while hoping that she would read it.
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